I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
