Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
