I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
