Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Randomize
