If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
