This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize