Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize