their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
