The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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