I wanna passion pit in your ass
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
