So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There r osticjed everywhere
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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