no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
