I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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