The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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