it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
