Yo dont text me then not text me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
