When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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