I'm gonna have a badass scar
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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