I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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