just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize