I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
