their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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