also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What a dumb baby whore.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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