I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
