You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
