i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I AM VODKA MAN
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
