Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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