I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
