the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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