I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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