Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
