He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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