i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
