look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
