This house was built for laser tag.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
