Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
