we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
