I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
