she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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