where am i from again
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
