Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
