Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
