I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
sex in a hospital.. check
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
