Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
