That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
