They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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