I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
