we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
