yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
