i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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