the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
