I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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