Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
