I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize