My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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