last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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