my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just found a bag of teeth...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
