It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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