On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
