I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
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You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
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Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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