dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Your dad touched me again.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Everyone says I win the strip club
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize