; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm really busy with my period
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