Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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