I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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