Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
