my mouth tastes like poor choices
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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