Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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