They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
