You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
