she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
