Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
